Sophie & Erik(35)

Erik and I met at a conference in Berlin. He's Swedish, born in Gothenburg, and was working at Volvo at the time. I'm a graphic designer from Haarlem. After three years of long-distance, he moved in with me in Amsterdam. But when our daughter Lina was born, we started having doubts. Amsterdam was expensive, crowded and far from Erik's family.

The move to Gothenburg was logistically simple — as the partner of a Swedish citizen I immediately qualified for folkbokföring. My personnummer was ready within two weeks. The Skatteverket employee even spoke a little Dutch and joked about stroopwafels. Swedish bureaucracy is efficient and friendly — the opposite of what I expected.

The difference in childcare is enormous. Lina goes to the förskola around the corner — five days a week, from eight to four. We pay 1,510 SEK per month. In Amsterdam we paid four times as much for three days. Erik took three months of föräldraledighet after Lina's birth, and I took six months. In total, parents are entitled to 480 days, of which 90 are specifically reserved for each parent. It's not a favor, it's expected.

Gothenburg is a perfect family city. Liseberg is Scandinavia's largest amusement park and it's in the middle of the city. Slottsskogen is an enormous city park where we walk with Lina every Sunday. The tram is reliable and cheap — a monthly pass costs 790 SEK. And Gothenburg's skärgården, with islands like Styrsö and Vrångö, is our summer playground.

Social integration as a foreign partner is easier than I thought. Through the öppen förskola (open preschool playgroup) I met other parents. The SFI course helped with the language, but daily conversations with Erik's family did the most. My mother-in-law Birgitta doesn't speak English — that was the best motivation to learn Swedish.

The only thing I miss about the Netherlands is the directness. Swedes are polite but sometimes unclear — you need to learn to read between the lines. And Dutch cheese is outrageously expensive here. But otherwise: Gothenburg offers everything we were looking for. Space, nature, affordable childcare and a city that's big enough to be interesting, but small enough to know.